This site is about me, my life and lots of random stuff

Posts tagged “Not Always Right

Customers Can Stop You Cold

Grocery Store | Fairfield, CA, USA

Customer: “Ma’am, I think your frozen yogurt is expired.”

Me: “Really? What brand?”

Customer: “I don’t remember. But it tasted funny last night when I ate it.”

Me: “What was the expiration date?”

Customer: “Not until next month. But it tasted funny. After I put it in the microwave, it was liquid and warm.”

Me: “You put it in the microwave?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s frozen yogurt! You have to heat it up!”

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When Intelligence Just Melts Away

Restaurant | Denver, CO, USA

Customer: “Can I have cheese on my fries?”

Me: “Would you like American, Cheddar, Swiss, or Pepper Jack?”

Customer: “Cheddar is the one that melts, right?”

—————————–

Cheese on his fries? O.o

funny graphs - Is This Even a Question?


Free Derange

Grocery Store | Venice Beach, CA, USA

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what does free range chicken mean?”

Me: “That means our chickens are not raised in cages. They get to walk around outside, which is important to the quality of life for the animals.”

Customer: *with a horrified expression* “How do you make sure they don’t eat bugs and stuff while they’re outside?”

Me: “We make sure the farmers put up a sign ‘don’t eat bugs’ in chicken scratch so they can read it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll take two breasts.”


Just Another Mild Mannered Horse

Corn Maze | New Hampshire, USA

(I work in the barn, where I explain the rules of our corn maze. There are usually two or three horses in there as well, one of which is white.)

Customer: “That is a beautiful unicorn.”

Me: “He’s a handsome boy all right. Just missing the horn. You can pat him if you like.”

Customer: “But he is white, and strong like unicorn! They are very strong.”

Me: “He would make a very nice unicorn. He’s a Percheron, though, so no horn.”

Customer: “He must hide his horn, to protect! He cannot always be a unicorn!”


I Have A Sinking Feeling

Travel Agency | Oak Harbor, WA, USA

(Note: We have posters of real and fictional places on the walls.)

Customer: “Can I book a trip there?” *points at a poster of Atlantis*

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a real place.”

Customer: *angry* “Then why is it on your wall!? That confuses people!”

Me: “We figured most people knew that there are no cities under water.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t assume everybody is that smart!”


Customers Are Going Gaga

Fast Food Restaurant | San Juan, Puerto Rico

(I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

(He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”


Must Be Really Hungry

Me: “Your table is not quite ready yet. Let me give you this pager it will go off as soon as the table is set.”

Customer: “Ok, thank you. What’s the range on this pager?”

Me: “Just on this side of the courtyard.”

Customer: “Alright, and if I lick it, will it electrocute me?”

Me: *pause* “Please…just…don’t.”


Willy Always Was A Bit Wonky

Fast Food Restaurant | Chicago, IL, USA

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like an oompa loompa.”

Me: “Oompa loompa?”

Customer: “Yes, one of those caramel apple oompa loompas!”

Me: “Do you mean an empinada?”

Customer: “That’s exactly what I said.”


Nonplussed Customers

City Market | Dillon, CO, USA

Customer: “Something isn’t right with these two signs about the pears on sale. One says $1.00 for 1 pound, and the other says $10 for 10 pounds. Which is it?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, that’s the same thing.”

Customer: “Excuse me, but I actually went to college. I think I can do basic math.”

Me: “Let’s look at it this way. If it’s $1 for 1 pound, how much would 3 pounds be?”

Customer: “$3.”

Me: “Yep, and how much would 5 pounds be?”

Customer: “$5.”

Me: “Awesome. How much would 10 pounds be?”

Customer: “$10.” *pause* “Those signs are misleading!” *storms off*

 


There Is Norway I Can Understand You

Airport | Trondheim, Norway

(A young boy, about 12, is walking around confused.)

Me: *in Norwegian* “Where are your parents?”

Child: *clearly British* “Why the heck to people here assume I speak bloody Norwegian?”

Me: *in English* “You’re in Norway.”

Child: “Oh, yeah.”